How to open a bottle of wine with no corkscrew!

Ha! Now, how did he discover how to do this?!

Hot Chicks With Douchebags

If you haven't come across it yet I suggest you get over to "Hot Chicks with Douchebags". It's pictures people have sent in of the "choice" trendy set.

Not a lot you can say really, the title says it all. Here are some of my favourites. :-)





What is so brilliant about some of the posts are the Haikus. For example:



Crotch first, Glenn triumphs,
Two Russian Cougars from Queens,
And the Hair Point. Dude.

Hair tapered to point
reminiscent of a turd
that I just pinched off.

Inga: real estate
Olga: low-rent "socialite"
Glenn: sanitation

So full from dinner,
Pointy reclines and begs you
To sniff his blue jeans

Looks like all three shop
at H&M, buy one girl's
black shirt get two free

Blue Moon

I've been trying to work out exactly how this guy managed to end up upside-down dangling from the lift. It can't have been easy.

Hilarious. More photos.

How much is that dog in the window?

Granville Street, Vancouver, Canada.

Oddest Book Title of the Year

The Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year

1978: Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice (University of Tokyo Press)
1979: The Madam as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution (Transaction Press)
1980: The Joy of Chickens (Prentice Hall)
1981: Last Chance at Love: Terminal Romances
1982: Population and Other Problems (China National Publications)
1983: The Theory of Lengthwise Rolling (MIR)
1984: The Book of Marmalade: Its Antecedents, Its History and Its Role in the World Today (Constable)
1985: Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Power: How to Increase the Other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts (Westwood Publishing Co)
1986: Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality (Brunner/Mazel)
1987: No Award
1988: Versailles: The View From Sweden University of Chicago Press)
1989: How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art (Ten Speed Press)
1990: Lesbian Sadomasochism Safety Manual (Lace Publications)
1991: No Award
1992: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Cornwell Maritime Press)
1993: American Bottom Archaeology (University of Illinois Press)
1994: Highlights in the History of Concrete (British Cement Association)
1995: Reusing Old Graves (Shaw & Son)
1996: Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers (Hellenic Philatelic Society)
1997: The Joy of Sex: Pocket Edition (Mitchell Beazley)
1998: Development in Dairy Cow Breeding and Management: and New Opportunities to Widen the Uses of Straw (Nuffield Farming Scholarship Trust)
1999: Weeds in a Changing World (British Crop Protection Council)
2000: High Performance Stiffened Structures (Professional Engineering Publishing)
2001: Butterworths Corporate Manslaughter Service (Butterworths)
2002: Living With Crazy Buttocks (Kaz Cooke - Penguin)
2003: The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories (Kensington Publishing)
2004: Bombproof Your Horse (J A Allen)
2005: People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It (Gary Leon Hill - Red Wheel/Weiser Books)
2006: The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification (Harry N Abrams)
2007: If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs (Simon & Schuster US)

These have probably been posted everywhere but they are quite amusing... More here.

1. Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

2. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

3. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

4. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

5. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

6. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

7. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

8. Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.

9. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

10. Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.

11. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.

12. Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.

13. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

14. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark
off.

15. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano

16. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

17. In 1991, Chuck Norris shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 strokes.

18. The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

19. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a Cyclops between the eye.

20. Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

21. the theory of evolution is bogus, its just a list of animals chuck norris allows to live

22. when chuck norris does a push up he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the world down

23. There were no giraffes until Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse

24. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep

25. Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."

26. Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire

27. Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.

28. God said: "Let there be light," Chuck Norris said: "Say please!"

29. There is no chin behind Chuck`s beard. Only another fist.

30. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

31. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.



32. Every time Chuck Norris listens to a song, Apple pays him 99 cents

33. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

34. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

35. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

36. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

37. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

38. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

39. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

40. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

41. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of
failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

42. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

43. Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

44. Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

45. Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

46. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

47. Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

48. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

49. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

50. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Garfield - Garfield

What a great idea! Remove the main character from a comic strip and show what's left.

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

See Garfield minus Garfield.

Clowns

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

-Jack Hanley

Where there is a willy, there is a way

The Nintendo Wii allows you to make your own characters faces. This is a fun addition to console ownership and allows you to play as yourself, or an alter ego, whilst bowling, or playing tennis, etc. Nintendo have tried to make everything family friendly, but it's funny how inventive some people can be.

It's strange but this is almost a lesson in design. The best designers work within the constraints they are given and are creative with it.